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Woman o woman when will you grow up! PDF Print Email

Today as I sat on my desk, a woman came to meet me with an application. She started off with how she had been to the local police but nobody is taking cognizance of her complaint. Then she narrated her woes. It transpired that she was a widow, albeit a young one, having lost her husband in a road accident few years back. Thereafter she met this man, who professed his unconditional love for her and persuaded her for a relationship after putting the sindoor on her forehead (a supposedly clandestine marriage) assuring her that after his parents’ consent they will have a social wedding. Of course that never happened but what did happen was that she got pregnant. Now she had come to us for help in asserting her right and the right of her unborn child viv a vis the supposed husband and in-laws. The local police did act on her complaint initially by calling the other side but there a compromise was reached and the in-laws accepted her as a member of the family, promising her social acceptance in near future which never came about.

The story was so similar to the once I have heard earlier, narrated by different women at different times but the gist remains the same. Women, always so easy to be led, trusting the one they love, believing the one who professes love for them and then giving themselves to that another in every manner. Open to being abused emotionally, physically, financially………

Are they the emotional fools? Cant they see it coming? Why are they so eager to believe when all the signs say no no no? I guess the entire mind driven race will think so! However, here lies the difference between a man and a woman. One driven by mind, and the other by heart. Ready to believe and to trust.

A tough battle. If she gets the guy to marry her and accept her, will this relationship ever last or have any meaning? What will happen after that? What will the legal action get her? Some settlement for herself and her unborn child for not proceeding with her complaint or punishment for the culprit for having befooled her in next 5-6 years? And during this period what will she do? How will she bring about a child on her own in today’s society which is always ready to ridicule and criticize but never willing to lend a helping hand?

Here she is open to being branded a woman with loose moral values, a vamp, a whore doing it for money and what not but nobody bothers about the man who was an equal partner to where she is today. He will not be labeled as the rapist, a cheater, a fraud but an unfortunate guy who got hooked to a wrong woman while a woman seeking justice wards off the abuses hurled upon her and her character.

Is it so wrong to trust! Have we all been not in a situation at one point of our life where we realized we committed a mistake in trusting a wrong guy but does this wrong judgment justify the cruelties meted out to this and many such women?

Suman Nalwa
15th oct 2012